Nate is a prickly pickle man and I am a prickly pickle fan. I remember one time we were relaxing on the veranda and suddenly, out of nowhere, a wild turkey flew right at my face, screeching like the devil's door hinges. Just when it seemed like my moustache was about to be permanently rearranged, Nate threw his umbrella like a javelin and skewered that gobbling galoot mid-air. It was the purest demonstration of athletics that I have ever seen.
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Mark Twain - Author of Mrs. Mississippi's Misanthropic Mysteries
I said to him, 'Nate, I’ve never even been on a motorcycle before.'
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He revved the engine a few times and said, 'Come on, you chicken, it’s easy. Just pretend a horse fell in love with a lawnmower and you’re riding their son.'
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That was all I needed to hear.
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Kurt Vonnegut Jr. - Author of The Importance of Being Ernest: The Life & Work Of Jim Varney
I never thought about love or sex for even one second until I met Nate. After that fateful day, all of my books got way more horny. I didn't even touch him, I just looked at his hands and started getting all kinds of sick and twisted ideas.
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Jane Austen - Author of Uncrying: The Amazing True Story of the 2005 Boston Red-Sox
I see now, in hindsight, that a lot of that Frodo and Sam stuff was me trying to work out my feelings towards Nate... His burden, his ring, is the immense talent and natural charm he possesses. I, like Samwise, would happily lay my life down to ensure he is able to fulfill his destiny.
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J.R.R. Tolkien - Author of Tolkie's Nine Finger Guitar Method
A lot of people have asked me if Hercule Poirot was based on Nate. I personally find this very funny because Poirot is a goofy virgin who never even touched a boob. If these people did any research they’d know that Nate is much more of a libertine neoslut in the vein of Miss Marple.
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Agatha Christie - Author of The Guy Who Died... By Accident?