Animatronic Dinosaurs
From: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 7:31 PM
To: secretemail@gmail.com <secretemail@gmail.com>
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Dear Mr. Wolf,
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I am contacting you in regards to your interest in our animatronic dinosaurs.
We specialize in dozens of varieties of animatronic dinosaurs in many sizes.
Our clients include major theme parks and Hollywood movie studios.
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Please contact me with any questions you have, we are confident we can satisfy all your animatronic dinosaur needs.
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Gerard Knocklife
President & Ceo
Robosaur Inc.
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From: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 7:32 PM
To: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
Dear Mr. Knocklife,
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I think there has been a mistake, I am not a purchaser of animatronic dinosaurs.
Best wishes,
The Natewolf
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From: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 7:37 PM
To: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
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Dear Mr. Wolf,
Don’t you remember? We met at the Animatronic Dinosaur Expo in Prague.
Gerard Knocklife
President & Ceo
Robosaur Inc.
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From: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 7:38 PM
To: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
Dear Mr. K,
I’m sorry but you have the wrong person. I work at the bank folding the money. Are you sure you have the right email address?
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Regards,
Natewolf
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From: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 7:42 PM
To: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
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Dear Mr. Wolf,
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I see what you are trying to do and it won’t work. I have pictures, Natey, and I will show them to your wife if you don’t buy some animatronic dinosaurs. Promises were made. I did things. Things I’m ashamed of. All because you said you wanted to buy “a whole lot of animatronic dinosaurs.”
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Gerard Knocklife
President & Ceo
Robosaur Inc.
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From: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 8:02 PM
To: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
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Gerard,
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I am not married. I have never travelled to Prague. I can’t even leave the country because I was convicted of pulling the Prime Minister’s pants down. I accidentally grabbed the underwear along with the pants so it was a felony.
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I’ve attached several articles from the newspaper about it, a copy of my parole details, and a current picture so you can see for yourself I am not the man you are looking for.
I hope this satisfies any doubt you have about my identity. I wish you the best of luck.
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Sincerely,
Nate
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handsomeboy.jpg
MAN ARRESTED FOR PANTS FELONY.pdf
LOCAL BOY SHOWS PMS PEEN.pdf
JAIL TIME FOR PM PANTS PULLER.pdf
PANTS PRANKSTER PAROLED.pdf
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From: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 8:07 PM
To: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
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Dear Mr. Wolf,
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Do you think this is a game?
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I will destroy your fucking world.
Order 10 good faith Velociraptors by Monday or prepare to taste my vengeance.
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Do not test me.
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Gerard Knocklife
President & Ceo
Robosaur Inc.
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From: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 8:08 PM
To: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
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Gerry,
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I wish there was something I could do to convince you of the truth, I am not the man you are looking for. Please refrain from messaging me in the future or I will be forced to contact my lawyer. I’m sorry it has come to this.
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I wish you good luck in your search,
NW
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From: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 8:14 PM
To: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
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Dear Mr. Wolf,
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Oh my god, I’m so embarrassed. You were totally right. I had the wrong email. I was looking for thewolfnate. Please forgive my foolish mistake, I’m sorry to have disturbed you.
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Gerard Knocklife
President & Ceo
Robosaur Inc.
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From: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 8:17 PM
To: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
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G-Man,
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Don't sweat it
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- N-Man
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From: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 8:21 PM
To: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
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Thank you for being so understanding.
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Gerard Knocklife
President & Ceo
Robosaur Inc.
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From: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 8:24 PM
To: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
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Hey G,
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Actually, could you tell me a little more about your animatronic dinosaurs? I’m organizing an event and we might be able use some animatronic dinosaurs now that I think about it.
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- N
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From: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 8:33 PM
To: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
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Dear Mr. Wolf,
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No problem!
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We specialize in dinosaurs that look super realistic and scary. They can be programmed to run through a set of lifelike movements, or be controlled by remote operator via Bluetooth.
The real secret to our amazing product lies in the aluminum frame and stainless steel ball-joints, which provide an almost indestructible base for all of our animatronic dinosaurs.
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Unlike the name brand animatronic dinosaur manufacturers, who use robots to build their animatronic dinosaurs, each of our animatronic dinosaurs is sculpted by an artisan clayleontologist, and played with for an afternoon to ensure funness. This process guarantees that every dinosaur we produce is not only unique and customizable, but also reliable and scientifically accurate.
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You would think an animatronic dinosaur that boasts such an impressive combination of engineering, craftsmanship, and artistry would be cost prohibitive, but our prices are competitive with all the big-box animatronic dinosaur suppliers. By making our own dinosaurs and selling them directly to the consumer, we cut out the cost of a middleman and pass the savings on to the customer!
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I’m going to level with you, Mr. Wolf, times are tough right now in the animatronic dinosaur business. The increasing cost of raw materials, China entering into the market, and endless government regulation to our industry has made it very difficult for small business owners like myself to stay afloat. We want your business. We need your business. I am willing to do whatever it takes. Whatever it takes.
Attached is our 2015 catalog and some recent pictures of me.
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Gerard Knocklife
President & Ceo
Robosaur Inc.
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Winternudes.jpg
2015 ANAMATARONIC DINOSAUR CATALOG.pdf
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From: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 8:52 PM
To: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
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G,
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Excellent stuff, the animatronic dinosaurs look great and it's obvious that you work out.
I appreciate you taking the time to answer me with such detail. I’m impressed, I like a man who shoots straight, I think we can do business.
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I’d like to place an order for some of your T-rexes, how soon could I have them delivered?
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From: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 8:56 PM
To: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
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Dear Mr. Wolf,
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Excellent news! You can place your order directly through me. Delivery usually takes between 2-6 weeks but we can make special arrangements if you need them sooner.
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How many can I put you down for?
Gerard Knocklife
President & Ceo
Robosaur Inc.
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From: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 8:58 PM
To: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
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A million.
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N
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From: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 9:02 PM
To: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
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Dear Mr. Wolf,
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Wow, that is a lot of animatronic dinosaurs. We would need some time to fill that order, when do you need them?
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Gerard Knocklife
President & Ceo
Robosaur Inc.
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From: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 9:03 PM
To: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
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tuesday
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From: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 9:08 PM
To: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
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Dear Mr. Wolf,
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Oh my, that is a very short deadline, do you need the entire million by Tuesday?
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Gerard Knocklife
President & Ceo
Robosaur Inc.
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From: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 9:10 PM
To: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
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yeah it's for a dinosaur rave I'm organizing.
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From: Gerard Knocklife <gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 9:15 PM
To: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
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Dear Mr. Wolf,
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I’m very sorry but we simply do not have the manpower necessary to fill that order for you in such a short time.
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I hate to leave you out on a limb, I could get you a million animatronic dragons by Tuesday, would that work?
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Gerard Knocklife
President & Ceo
Robosaur Inc.
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From: Nate <secretemail@gmail.com>
Date: Sat, Mar 7, 2015 at 9:21 PM
To: Brent “Mr. Mistrial” Murrman <the_sweaty_lawyer@hotmail.com>
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Can you take care of this clown for me please?
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Begin forwarded message:
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From: Brent “Mr. Mistrial” Murrman <the_sweaty_lawyer@hotmail.com>
Subject: RE: Animatronic Dinosaurs
Date: March 7, 2015 at 8:42:34 PM MST
To: gerardknockliferoboceo_5@yahoo.com
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Dear Mr. Knocklife,
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I am writing this letter on behalf of my client, Mr. Natheodore Wolf. We ask that you immediately cease and desist contact with Mr. Wolf, or we will be forced to take legal action. My client would further like it to be noted that dragons are not dinosaurs, not even close.
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We hope you consider the matter settled and may god have mercy on your soul.
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Brent Murrman. Esq
Ladybro, Isotope, & Murrman LLP